Search for self love:

We gave eachother up so easily, and these silly little wounds will never mend.

2005-09-10T18:26:44Z

I can't decide if happy is the same as notawfullyunhappy. Either way, I think i'm happy. And worried a little. And so young.

(we were all in love and we all got hurt)

This message is addressed to everyone who is reading this post.
I want you to post anything that you want. Anything.
Post a secret, a threat, a confession, an opinion about me, a story, a poem -- anything.
Be sure to post anonymously and honestly.
Post twice if you'd like, and then put this in your journal to see what your friends (and perhaps others who you don't even realize read it) have to say.

I liked its concept so there it is.

You're so sure that i'll be leaving in the end.

2005-06-16T05:43:14Z

Once there was a little girl. And this little girl was very happy. See, she was blessed, this girl. She had magic in her. And she was strong. She was so magical-happy-strong that she made everything good again. Then one day, this little girl was skipping to church to plant flowers, and she stepped on a small piece of metal. This shard cut through her perfectly white tennis shoes and her socks with the little frills around the ankle, and worked itself into her pretty little foot. This little girl got very sick. And then she died.

This story is how I feel right now. I thought i'd share.

Breakdowns are even more fun in public!

Oh why cant I be what you need? A new improved version of me.

2005-06-10T17:48:22Z

Melanie Wills was the good girl in Gone with the Wind! That's why I love the chic in From Autumn to Ashes! I seriously just freaked out when I figured that out. I know, i'm slow, but that is just so cool! And now, i'm off to continue my day as fucking suzie homemaker. There is nothing but hand-washed laundry and baking in my future.

I take one one one 'cause you left me and two two two for my family...

2005-06-10T07:21:08Z

Your Taste in Music:

Classic Rock: High Influence

Ska: High Influence

80's Alternative: Medium Influence

80's Rock: Medium Influence

90's Alternative: Medium Influence

90's Rock: Medium Influence

Country: Medium Influence

Hair Bands: Medium Influence

Punk: Medium Influence

80's Pop: Low Influence

90's Hip Hop: Low Influence

90's Pop: Low Influence

Adult Alternative: Low Influence

Old School Hip Hop: Low Influence

R&B: Low Influence

How's Your Taste in Music?

I like these. I don't understand them, but I like them. And also, as a quick comment, I think something is inaccuratly named if it does not live up to it's promise. I went to the evil bridge of death and blindness, and as you can see, I am neither dead nor blind. Maybe that's because I didn't jump. Ah, maybe next time. Also, if your name is Ashley and you're a tall blonde, you had better call me this summer!

Can music save your mortal soul, and can you teach me how to dance real slow?

2005-06-05T14:59:13Z

Your Political Profile

Overall: 10% Conservative, 90% Liberal

Social Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

How Liberal / Conservative Are You?

Haha, see you guys, I'm a little conservative.

Take me away to nowhere place.

2005-05-31T18:53:31Z

I really want to do something, anything right now. I have the oddest urge to just do something incredibly foolish/frivolous/crazy/absolutly brilliant. Like jump in a car and drive to water and climb as high as I can and then jump in. Or kiss a stranger. Just because. That sort of thing. This is definatly a dancing sort of mood.

I lovelovelove this.

Baby, stop breaking my heart.

2005-05-30T05:08:53Z

I want to go to bed and sleep for the first time in two days. But I can't. Because I cannnot feel my legs. And i'm sorry for putting quotes instead of an actual message. But that's all I can handle right now. My bad.

My Weekend:
"Hey, did you see two guys with three hands? We lost them."
"Sometimes, I feel sweat dribbles and I think it's bugs. They should probably put that in a book somewhere. It was pretty awesome."
"This is definatly the last fence. Oh wait one more."

Damn, I got over/through three barbed-wire fences and they still didn't let me talk to the cute farm boy on the other side.

How was yours?

I can hope that you just won't hear this.

2005-05-18T00:44:50Z

I'm a thief and a liar and that last update didn't go so hot, so here it is: another plea for attention *cough cough* Damn, where did that come from? I meant to say: an excerise that proves me to be loved because I can't really shake the feeling that i'm being lied to. Oh, that didn't come out right. Fuck it, just answer the question.

If you read this, even if I don't speak to you often, please post a memory of you & me. It can be anything you want, be it good or bad, just so long as it happened. Then, post this to your journal. See what people remember about you.

"Lillian, it sure is a good thing you're not dangerously suicidal." - My mother

Gee, I think so to, I guess.

She talks to angels, they call her out by her name

2005-05-15T19:39:22Z

I guess i'm not unhappy and I promised a boy that I would update when that happened. So here I am.

Who's excited about tomorrow? I still need to make a witty shirt. Unfortunatly, I can't fit "Keep your conservative bullshit out of my personal life, bitch" on a t-shirt.

<form action='http://www.kwiz.biz/simplesurveys/do-survey.php' method='post' target='_new'><table border=1 bordercolor=#efefef cellspacing=0><tr><td valign=top align=center colspan=2><b><i>TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey</i></b><input type='hidden' name='question1' value='TELL+ME+ABOUT+YOURSELF+-+The+Survey'><input type='hidden' name='type1' value='2'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Name:</td><td align=left><b>Lillian</b><input type='hidden' name='question2' value='Name%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type2' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Birthday:</td><td align=left><b>April 29th </b><input type='hidden' name='question3' value='Birthday%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type3' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Birthplace:</td><td align=left><b>Springfield, Il.</b><input type='hidden' name='question4' value='Birthplace%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type4' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Current Location:</td><td align=left><b>Springfield.</b><input type='hidden' name='question5' value='Current+Location%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type5' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Eye Color:</td><td align=left><b>depends who you ask, I still maintain that they're brown</b><input type='hidden' name='question6' value='Eye+Color%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type6' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Hair Color:</td><td align=left><b>umm, Brownish?</b><input type='hidden' name='question7' value='Hair+Color%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type7' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Height:</td><td align=left><b>5'6 I think</b><input type='hidden' name='question8' value='Height%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type8' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Right Handed or Left Handed:</td><td align=left><b>right</b><input type='hidden' name='question9' value='Right+Handed+or+Left+Handed%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type9' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Your Heritage:</td><td align=left><b>german, polish, irish, blah blah blah</b><input type='hidden' name='question10' value='Your+Heritage%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type10' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>The Shoes You Wore Today:</td><td align=left><b>my shiny flats</b><input type='hidden' name='question11' value='The+Shoes+You+Wore+Today%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type11' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Your Weakness:</td><td align=left><b>people, they're so amazingly tragic</b><input type='hidden' name='question12' value='Your+Weakness%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type12' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Your Fears:</td><td align=left><b>Depends who i'm being that day</b><input type='hidden' name='question13' value='Your+Fears%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type13' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Your Perfect Pizza:</td><td align=left><b>Margarita pizza, Its an italian pizza with layers of cheese and fresh basil</b><input type='hidden' name='question14' value='Your+Perfect+Pizza%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type14' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:</td><td align=left><b>Get over it. With style.</b><input type='hidden' name='question15' value='Goal+You+Would+Like+To+Achieve+This+Year%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type15' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:</td><td align=left><b>mhmm</b><input type='hidden' name='question16' value='Your+Most+Overused+Phrase+On+an+instant+messenger%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type16' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Thoughts First Waking Up:</td><td align=left><b>Mmmm, that was a nice dream</b><input type='hidden' name='question17' value='Thoughts+First+Waking+Up%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type17' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Your Best Physical Feature:</td><td align=left><b>The curve in the small of my back</b><input type='hidden' name='question18' value='Your+Best+Physical+Feature%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type18' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Your Bedtime:</td><td align=left><b>Whenever I decide to sleep I guess</b><input type='hidden' name='question19' value='Your+Bedtime%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type19' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Your Most Missed Memory:</td><td align=left><b>The swimming pool in Titirangi</b><input type='hidden' name='question20' value='Your+Most+Missed+Memory%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type20' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Pepsi or Coke:</td><td align=left><b>Coke</b><input type='hidden' name='question21' value='Pepsi+or+Coke%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type21' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>MacDonalds or Burger King:</td><td align=left><b>Ew, niether</b><input type='hidden' name='question22' value='MacDonalds+or+Burger+King%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type22' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Single or Group Dates:</td><td align=left><b>Depends on who i'm out with.</b><input type='hidden' name='question23' value='Single+or+Group+Dates%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type23' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:</td><td align=left><b>Brewed</b><input type='hidden' name='question24' value='Lipton+Ice+Tea+or+Nestea%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type24' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Chocolate or Vanilla:</td><td align=left><b>chocolate</b><input type='hidden' name='question25' value='Chocolate+or+Vanilla%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type25' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Cappuccino or Coffee:</td><td align=left><b>In the morning, Coffee. At night, Cappuccino.</b><input type='hidden' name='question26' value='Cappuccino+or+Coffee%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type26' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Do you Smoke:</td><td align=left><b>Yea...nasty habit</b><input type='hidden' name='question27' value='Do+you+Smoke%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type27' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Do you Swear:</td><td align=left><b>Not tons, but I do.</b><input type='hidden' name='question28' value='Do+you+Swear%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type28' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Do you Sing:</td><td align=left><b>Yep. </b><input type='hidden' name='question29' value='Do+you+Sing%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type29' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Do you Shower Daily:</td><td align=left><b>Yes, usually twice.</b><input type='hidden' name='question30' value='Do+you+Shower+Daily%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type30' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Have you Been in Love:</td><td align=left><b>No</b><input type='hidden' name='question31' value='Have+you+Been+in+Love%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type31' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Do you want to go to College:</td><td align=left><b>Yes</b><input type='hidden' name='question32' value='Do+you+want+to+go+to+College%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type32' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Do you want to get Married:</td><td align=left><b>Yes</b><input type='hidden' name='question33' value='Do+you+want+to+get+Married%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type33' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Do you belive in yourself:</td><td align=left><b>enough.</b><input type='hidden' name='question34' value='Do+you+belive+in+yourself%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type34' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Do you get Motion Sickness:</td><td align=left><b>no</b><input type='hidden' name='question35' value='Do+you+get+Motion+Sickness%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type35' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Do you think you are Attractive:</td><td align=left><b>sometimes</b><input type='hidden' name='question36' value='Do+you+think+you+are+Attractive%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type36' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Are you a Health Freak:</td><td align=left><b>no</b><input type='hidden' name='question37' value='Are+you+a+Health+Freak%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type37' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Do you get along with your Parents:</td><td align=left><b>yea...they just don't really get along with me</b><input type='hidden' name='question38' value='Do+you+get+along+with+your+Parents%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type38' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Do you like Thunderstorms:</td><td align=left><b>I love 'em.</b><input type='hidden' name='question39' value='Do+you+like+Thunderstorms%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type39' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Do you play an Instrument:</td><td align=left><b>yes</b><input type='hidden' name='question40' value='Do+you+play+an+Instrument%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type40' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:</td><td align=left><b>yes</b><input type='hidden' name='question41' value='In+the+past+month+have+you+Drank+Alcohol%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type41' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>In the past month have you Smoked:</td><td align=left><b>yes</b><input type='hidden' name='question42' value='In+the+past+month+have+you+Smoked%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type42' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>In the past month have you been on Drugs:</td><td align=left><b>yes</b><input type='hidden' name='question43' value='In+the+past+month+have+you+been+on+Drugs%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type43' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>In the past month have you gone on a Date:</td><td align=left><b>yes</b><input type='hidden' name='question44' value='In+the+past+month+have+you+gone+on+a+Date%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type44' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>In the past month have you gone to a Mall:</td><td align=left><b>no</b><input type='hidden' name='question45' value='In+the+past+month+have+you+gone+to+a+Mall%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type45' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:</td><td align=left><b>no</b><input type='hidden' name='question46' value='In+the+past+month+have+you+eaten+a+box+of+Oreos%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type46' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>In the past month have you eaten Sushi:</td><td align=left><b>yes</b><input type='hidden' name='question47' value='In+the+past+month+have+you+eaten+Sushi%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type47' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>In the past month have you been on Stage:</td><td align=left><b>yes</b><input type='hidden' name='question48' value='In+the+past+month+have+you+been+on+Stage%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type48' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>In the past month have you been Dumped:</td><td align=left><b>not really</b><input type='hidden' name='question49' value='In+the+past+month+have+you+been+Dumped%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type49' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:</td><td align=left><b>yes</b><input type='hidden' name='question50' value='In+the+past+month+have+you+gone+Skinny+Dipping%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type50' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>In the past month have you Stolen Anything:</td><td align=left><b>no</b><input type='hidden' name='question51' value='In+the+past+month+have+you+Stolen+Anything%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type51' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Ever been Drunk:</td><td align=left><b>yes</b><input type='hidden' name='question52' value='Ever+been+Drunk%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type52' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Ever been called a Tease:</td><td align=left><b>yes</b><input type='hidden' name='question53' value='Ever+been+called+a+Tease%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type53' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Ever been Beaten up:</td><td align=left><b>Not badly.</b><input type='hidden' name='question54' value='Ever+been+Beaten+up%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type54' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Ever Shoplifted:</td><td align=left><b>yes</b><input type='hidden' name='question55' value='Ever+Shoplifted%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type55' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>How do you want to Die:</td><td align=left><b>Tragically young.</b><input type='hidden' name='question56' value='How+do+you+want+to+Die%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type56' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>What do you want to be when you Grow Up:</td><td align=left><b>skinny</b><input type='hidden' name='question57' value='What+do+you+want+to+be+when+you+Grow+Up%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type57' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>What country would you most like to Visit:</td><td align=left><b>I can't choose just one, but i've never been to Africa and they're are tons of countries there.</b><input type='hidden' name='question58' value='What+country+would+you+most+like+to+Visit%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type58' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=center colspan=2><b><i>In a Boy/Girl..</i></b><input type='hidden' name='question59' value='In+a+Boy%2FGirl..'><input type='hidden' name='type59' value='2'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Favourite Eye Color:</td><td align=left><b>Whatever colour matches thier features. Brown, I guess.</b><input type='hidden' name='question60' value='Favourite+Eye+Color%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type60' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Favourite Hair Color:</td><td align=left><b>I like redheads. But, it doesn't really matter on guys.</b><input type='hidden' name='question61' value='Favourite+Hair+Color%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type61' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Short or Long Hair:</td><td align=left><b>Somewhere in between.</b><input type='hidden' name='question62' value='Short+or+Long+Hair%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type62' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Height:</td><td align=left><b>Taller than me in heels.</b><input type='hidden' name='question63' value='Height%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type63' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Weight:</td><td align=left><b>Whatever suits thier frame.</b><input type='hidden' name='question64' value='Weight%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type64' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Best Clothing Style:</td><td align=left><b>Clean.</b><input type='hidden' name='question65' value='Best+Clothing+Style%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type65' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Number of Drugs I have taken:</td><td align=left><b>Probable, like 2. I'm a good, little girl. </b><input type='hidden' name='question66' value='Number+of+Drugs+I+have+taken%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type66' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Number of CDs I own:</td><td align=left><b>I don't know. I don't sit around and count them.</b><input type='hidden' name='question68' value='Number+of+CDs+I+own%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type68' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Number of Piercings:</td><td align=left><b>2</b><input type='hidden' name='question69' value='Number+of+Piercings%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type69' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Number of Tattoos:</td><td align=left><b>0</b><input type='hidden' name='question70' value='Number+of+Tattoos%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type70' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Number of things in my Past I Regret:</td><td align=left><b>About 6 major ones. Lots of little things.</b><input type='hidden' name='question71' value='Number+of+things+in+my+Past+I+Regret%3A'><input type='hidden' name='type71' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td colspan=2 align=center><input type='submit' value='Take This Survey'><BR><a href='http://www.kwiz.biz/simplesurveys/create-survey.php'>CREATE YOUR OWN!</a> - or - <a href='http://www.kwiz.biz/simplesurveys/paid-surveys.php'>GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!</a></td></tr></form></table>

I just can't look, its killing me ... Jealosy

2005-04-29T21:31:33Z

I love birthdays. I cannot be sad on my birthday, it sacreligous or something.

I got myself a little birthday present and now my tummy is ska coloured!

I'm content right now. With everything. There are troubles and all, I get that. Some of them even directly affect me, especially these stupid little ones that I obsess over, but i'm really quite content with my life the way it is. Damn, wouold ya look at that? Lillian's happy. Awesome.

I want to stand out in the crowd for you

2005-04-25T03:33:32Z

Guys n' Dolls was great last night. Like layneletmegiveyoumyvirginity great.

I need to stop being myself so often.

Contrary to popular belief, not everything in the world is my fault.

2005-04-21T22:36:47Z

I hate that whenever i'm feeing good about life, my mother talks to me. And now i'm crushed. God.

None of my rules for living make my mother thinking i'm awful an okay thing.

I hate now.

Once more, with feeling!

2005-04-19T23:46:41Z

It's time once again to leave superficial and meaningless comments for a girl who needs them to appease her self-obsessed society-driven quest for affection! God, I love spring.

1. one secret.
2. one compliment.
3. your favorite quote.
4. one love note.
5. lyrics to a song.
6. how old you are.
7. how long we've been friends.
8. your name

*and I felt the need to add*

9. something good about yourself
10. one event that made you want to be my friend
11. one event that made you sad you were my friend
12. one thing that would make us both laugh

And so it is the shorter story. No love. No glory. No hero in her sky.

2005-04-15T22:58:33Z

Rumors are shitty and I wish I had a friend.

I'll be the queen and you'll be the king.

2005-04-13T03:47:22Z

So, as it turns out, I have self worth. Wierd, huh?

I cannot wait for the weekend. Good music, fewer thoughts. I'm so tired of drama, drama, drama. Even if it is important drama.

I really like people. In the majority, people are good. We have such a capacity for love and pleasure and goodness. I don't know if i'm the only one that this amazes and delightd but people really are, in general, awesome.

I want to be someone. No, I want to be someone's. I am so...*sigh* tonight.

I used to mean a lot, now it means a lot less

2005-04-10T16:44:24Z

Yesterday was alright. Show was way too godly but good people = good fun, I guess.

So, have you guys seen that allegra girl? She is so

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Yesterday was alright. Show was way too godly but good people = good fun, I guess.

So, have you guys seen that allegra girl? She is so <insert insult here. If you come up with any good ones, let me know.>.

Lying with his eyes while his hands are busy working overtime

2005-04-08T02:03:36Z

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I felt like updating but by the time I got here I had lost my drive. I have nothing to say.

Tell me what makes you happy.

I can't take my eyes off of you.

2005-04-07T03:33:57Z

*sigh*

*happy sigh*

Oh dear. I'm in deeper than I have any right to be.

"I hang like a star, fucking glow in the dark, for all those starving eyes to see"

2005-04-03T16:31:13Z

I do feel like a star today. In a way where I wish someone would wish on me. Wish for me, wish to me. Just invest some sort of hope in me. I feel like I maybe I could help someone. Like I could give someone else pleasure. I feel powerful and strong and fragile and the delicate kind of happy that comes from knowing what I should do. I feel like i'm in control of my life. It's a great feeling. I love when things feel out of control but this is nice too. I could do anything right now. I could achieve all those dreams I have. But they involve other people so maybe not but still. I could do anything. I could be happy for a long time. I could be normal. I could be better than this.

"It's all about taking the easy way out for you, I suppose."

2005-04-01T23:31:19Z

I would update with events but I always end up playing the bitch role anyway so why does it matter? Also, someday, we are all going to die. So, fuck it. I was so at peace this morning, I got rid of all my bad energy and greeted the dawn and let go. But now, I all I want is to have it back. And all I want is one look from one person that says everything I need to know to make it through.

Your Sexual Flavor Is Cherry

Sexy yet innocent. Whorish yet virginal.

Your sweet, succulent flavor keeps everyone guessing.
You know how to turn on your sexuality and drive everyone wild.
Flirting and fucking outrageously, you get away with murder.
Because after all the debauchery, you somehow convince people you're innocent.

Secret talent: Synchronized group sex

What's Your Sexual Flavor?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

"It'll start with a smile that won't wipe off your face no matter how hard you try"

2005-03-31T18:01:25Z

Hmmm, today had better be a good day. It feels like it should be.

When I woke up this morning I felt like an eight year old boy but I still think the hair is cute.

Haha, hmmmmmm. - I love this cause about three people will know exactly what it means.

"We'll go dancing baby, then you'll see how the magic is in the music and the musics' in me."

And now, a thing I stole from Morgan's journal, which may or may not be wierd because i've pretty much met her once but now I can read about what she does everyday if I please. Ew, i'm the creepy old man on every block! I so didn't want to be him, but oh well, here it is:

ask. me. anything.
.no matter how personal, dirty, crazy, or whatever. i promise to answer the questions 100% truthfully. repost this and see what people want to ask you..

"there's no design, your flaws are fine"

2005-03-30T22:38:52Z

I have short, brown hair and i'm having a very happy day.

"You know I never used to cry."

2005-03-29T20:27:31Z

I've decided that there isn't any kind of lonely that can hold a candle to kindergarden away-camp lonely. That is the worst kind of lonely.

The only thing that stays the same is everything changes, everything changes

2005-03-29T16:34:40Z

Is it pathetic that I can't listen to Fallout Boy with out thinking about Jake Vink? Ha. ANd does anyone else remember Raul? God, that kid was heaven. "Lillian, I love you AND you nuerotic insecurities" Damn, we should not be allowed to be alone. And this is only funny for me, probabaly. Oh well, I remember and it was fuckin hilarious.

Mmm, I miss everything right now. Earlier everyone was explaining how they were happy where they were and they don't mind that nothng is ever gonna be like this again. But it scares the hell out of me that we are doing things that we will never be able to do again. We're at these seperate places and no matter what they are, we're never going to be right here again. I don't how any of it matters, it's just scary. I don't like it. Okay, officially done with depressing rant for the day.

I love country music. And showtunes.

"And hes got posters on the wall of all the girls he wished she was and he means everything to her."

2005-03-28T02:41:04Z

God, I hate how I feel like an American Hi-Fi song. And it's not even a boy, I don't know if that would be slightly less pathetic, cause if I was heartbroken it would mean we had been together which would mean that someone had cared about me which would mean that it was possible for someone to care for me. But it's not. It's just every thing. Yes, everything has posters of girls they would rather have. Rhea sitting there, spinning, saying "Damn, I wish I had anyone else except for that lillian girl. She is such a downer!" I don't like me very much. And I don't like this at all.

Right now, I want to be the girl from 'Danny's song' more than anything in the world. So i'll end with song lyrics about a girl that doesn't exist but is non the less much, much, much better than I will ever, ever, ever be.

Love the girl who holds the world in a paper cup, drink it up,
Love her and she'll bring you luck.
And if you find she helps your mind, buddy, take her home,
Don't you live alone, try to earn what lovers own
And even though we ain't got money, I'm so in love with ya honey,
And everything will bring a chain of love.
And in the morning when I rise, you bring a tear of joy to my eyes,
And tell me everything is gonna be alright.